Tuesday, May 5, 2009

What I don't tell you

Blog camp has got me thinking about blogging, blog friends, why we blog, how we blog... all those big blogging questions. Because, you see? My blogging life is about to become real. I'm really looking forward to meeting this lady (blog camp in chief), and this lady, and possibly this lady. And there are others I'm looking forward to getting to know. I know it'd be fun, but it's also kind of scary.

My first thought when I found out about this was something along the lines of "Fun! After all, I already know these people". And then I thought, "But how much do I really know them?" and then, scary thought, "How much do they really know me? How much of what I'm like in person can you get from my blog? What if they imagine something completely different?"

I try really hard to be honest here, in my little corner of the big blogosphere. I try to be myself when I write, I think about what I want to say, my opinions are mine and everything I say it's true. But how about what I don't say? Let's make a short list, because one thing we do know is that we love lists:

1. I hardly ever talk about my boyfriend, even though he's one of the most important things in my life. He does follow me, though (Hello, J, I love you!)

2. The same with my family and friends. Not many of my friends read this blog. My sister does (Hello, H!), but never comments. My mum reads my Spanish blog and always complains that she can't understand what I write about here. Which I think it's a good thing. So there's really no pressure or fear that they will be hurt by what I say. But still I never talk about them.

3. Work. You really don't want me to post about this. It's BORING. I could bore you to tears telling you how boring I find it. A couple of years ago, I really liked my job. I could have bored you to tears telling you how much I liked it. My job hasn't changed so I'm still trying to figure out what happened (apart from the fact that I spent a year travelling last year) and what to do about it (this is the hard part). This consumes a big part of my life. But I don't tell you about it very often.

4. Embarrassing things. Like when I told you about my jewellery course, but never told you what happened next (Horrible incident involving beautiful flower earrings made with great effort by me being almost consumed by flames while I was soldering. I blame the teacher of course.)

I didn't decide not to blog about these things (except the earrings, it's taken me all this time to get over it), and one day I may do. But I thought I'd mention them here now so they don't come as a surprise in blog camp. Oh! This is exciting!

14 comments:

  1. you're so funny. i don't think you should worry. we're all worrying about exactly the same things!!!! but i still think it's gonna be great!!!!

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  2. Well that sounds like a fun event, at least you'll all have plenty to blog about afterwards!
    I can understand your apprehension about going along though.
    As for blogging, I certainly am not telling all, and assume everyone else is doing the same (even if it doesn't look that way when they post)
    Maybe you should 'give us a little more' B (we are interested and we're not here to judge)
    Shame about the earrings - poor instructor - obviously :)
    Crikey- my comments are getting longer and longer - sorry

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  3. Nope, didn't scare me off. I'm still looking forward to meeting you!
    Says the woman who just blogged about her gyno appointment and apparently has no shame. Maybe I'm the one who should be afraid...

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  4. This makes me want to meet you even more.

    And I'm with you on the blog honesty thing... I go from fact to total fiction on mine and wonder which is a better option

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  5. Oh, you guys, making me blush! I can't wait to meet you all!

    Jan, I don't mind your comments getting longer. They are always interesting and honest (the topic of today).

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  6. hahaha, i was just thinking about this the other day. my blog started as a way for me to cope with all my anxiety issues. Blogging has become such a release in some ways.

    I love reading blogs. You feel like you really get to know each blogger.

    and i'm totally jealous of your blog camp.

    but know you have a reader and fan from Balad Joint Base, Iraq.

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  7. You write wonderfully! Say it, don't say, hold back or let it all hang out! It's all good and I like it!

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  8. B, you have a fun blog and I'm glad I discovered it. Thanks for stopping by mine!

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  9. Mrs Rotty, Janet, Jelica, I'm so glad you are here and that you like it!

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  10. B, a little mystery is a good thing. You're blog is perfect!

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  11. I know exactly what you mean...
    I was mentally listing the people who read my blog the other day, dividing them into "people I know" and "people I don't know," when I realized that there were several people in the "know" category who I have actually.never.met.
    Hmmmm....

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  12. Oh, Muse, it's a work in progress, but I try! :)
    Kathleen, it's kind of scary, isn't it?

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  13. The question of exposure is something I think about alot - how much to reveal? About other people, the line is pretty clear. But when it comes to myself, I am more hesitant. I have tried to be brave about blogging and just say it if, in the moment, it feels right. But I still hold back even after all this time.
    Perhaps because if it is written down, to me its real.

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  14. @ Sas, I think everyone keeps things private. The Internet is very real and difficult to control or delete what you've said once you've said it. So that's fine.
    I may not say everything, but I want what I say to be true and sound true.

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