Saturday, February 13, 2010

The Wedding Posts

I've been trying to write this post for weeks, a post about the wedding planning. And I struggled to put my feelings in writing, until I realized that I was actually trying to write two different posts.

One about how happy I am and how much fun it is to plan, to think about our day, to talk about what we want, to reflect about what it all means. I wanted to talk about the beautiful and fun inspiration around the blogosphere, and all the wonderful ideas.  Because I'm, at heart, a romantic girl and I'm excited about this day, I can't wait to wear the dress, and I'm looking forward to sharing and celebrating our love with family and friends.

But then there is this other post that I feel I also need to write. About how confusing, frustrating, at times incredibly boring, this planning also is. How the inspiration can overwhelm you to the point that you don't know what you want anymore, and you start needing wanting things that you never even knew existed and that you could never afford. How tiresome it gets when absolutely everyone has an opinion and don't hesitate to tell you what you should and shouldn't do, regardless of what you want. How upsetting it is when people assume that my future husband has no opinion and no say about the whole day (What groom? You'd think he's merely another accessory for your day, if you hear what some bride magazines are saying.)

And I suddenly don't know if I want...

... a vintage wedding...

... or maybe a beach wedding...

... or perhaps, I'm meant to have a winter wedding...

... a rustic wedding...

... or a modern one...

And so, I've been struggling, going back and forth between those two stages of mind, feeling all the above, often all at once. 

But then I read about other people who feel like me in this wedding blog with a difference, and I re-read the story of the best non-perfect proposal, and hear others talk about what it means to be married. And I remember that even though our wedding is an important day, it's not The Most Important Day In Our Life, it's only the beginning. And it's not all about me, it's about us, and it's not about having the perfect party, it's about getting together with the people we love to celebrate with them.

And then, I can dream again about our day and enjoy it, and I'm not thinking about eloping anymore...


And I know that certain things are important to me... and I can compromise on others.  I'm going to have red shoes and a red jacket... whatever my family thinks! Because it's the important things that matter... :)


  1. B you're going to be the sweetest bride (and let's not forget to mention the groom:)). It's uncanny how many details one has to think about when planning a wedding, however small. Don't let them scare you. It's all worth it, and try to enjoy all the preparations. As a couple, it is the most important day: the day you make promises and declare your love for each other in front of your families and friends, who are all there just for you and to celebrate with you. It is going to be the happiest day and party. There will be other important days for sure, but nothing quite as dreamy and magical and happy and just for the two of you. I hope you'll post more about it, as I'm sure you need my opinion along with everyone else's:). And, of course, yes to red shoes and jacket (and the red bouquet and long string of pearls "casually" wrapped around the wrist, sooo pretty!).

  2. Well this post was worth waiting for B - don't hesitate to share with us !
    Yes it is just the beginning, and I'm sure your day (and I do mean both of you)will be wonderful!
    Don't make any compromises you may later regret though - love, love,the RED - it's a look that would really suit you.
    Happy Valentine's !

  3. La verdad es que elijas la opción que elijas tu boda creo que será diferente y bonita (como son todas las bodas), ya sea en España o en Inglaterra y lleves lo que lleves.
    Supongo que lo importante es a quien llevas del brazo, con quien te casas y todos los invitados a los que de verdad consideres como importantes en tu vida.
    ¿Por qué los zapatos y la chaquetita roja? Quiero decir, ¿hay algún motivo en especial?
    Yo solamente te deseo muchísima suerte en todo, que no te aburras y que por favor no hagas caso de nada de lo que te digan (ni siquiera yo jajaja) porque es TU boda y la de tu novio, y no la de nadie más.
    Muchos besos :)

  4. You go girl! Take a deep breath and just go with your heart....that is all that matters.


  5. This is the plight of so many brides-to-be ~ please know that it will all be OK. Well, there will be mishaps, but I promise you those are things that you will laugh about later.

    If I did have any advice to offer is that you should put the magazines, websites, and blogs aside for a moment. Make a special romantic dinner and then you and John talk about what you want to remember from the day. Put yourself ahead of the day and then work backwards. My husband and I did our wedding on a shoestring budget, yet it was everything that I wanted.

    A good example to share was about our photographer. I knew who I wanted but we could not afford him. But he was really good. So Mark and I talked to him and asked if we could just hire him for the ceremony. Because in the end, the picture we wanted to enjoy 50 years from then was a church shot just after we got married. He agreed to it, and you know what? He loved that shot so much that he used it for his advertising for many years.

    Just something to think about...

  6. Oh you are such a wise bird. It's so easy to get swept up in all the wedding planning...but you're clever to realise it's a huge business, designed to relieve you of cash! Don't do it...keep it simple, focus on the really important things which are: a bride, a groom, family, friends, food, drink, music, dancing and photographs. The rest is DETAIL.

    You won't be any less married, any less loved becauase your favours didn't match your inivations (HORRORS!!!).

    Keep it simple, spend less, love more, stick with what you want.

    Youre so right. This isn't the best day in your's the first day of the rest of your life. Pretty special, but don't heap all your dreams on one day.

    Red shoes? You totally, totally rock. I love you xxx

  7. Definitely red shoes! Love it!

    And don't forget, this is just the beginning for the rest of your beautiful life with Jon ... Enjoy

    R xx

  8. been there! but you´re right in thinking it´s only one day. that does take the pressure off a bit. red... love it! besos!

  9. you know what? the only thing you have to remember is that the wedding is about you and j. and all those other people, tho' they have opinions, it's all about you guys, it's not about them.

    so rock those red shoes, babe! and remember to enjoy it, but it is only the beginning.


  10. This is exactly how I feel too!

    You didn't by any chance go to a bridal fair in Battersea on the weekend did you?! Tom and I did, and we wandered out of there thinking "we don't want any of that stuff we saw, but we feel like we SHOULD want it!"

    Go for the red shoes and jacket. I think I'm going to go for a red dress myself :D

    Be true to yourself, and to you guys as a couple, and you won't go far wrong.


  11. I really enjoyed reading this post! So thoughtful, , so well written, so TRUE!!!
    I'm sure you'll have a fabulous day -you can't go wrong with a little red :-)

  12. as you know, i just celebrated 22 years of marriage. so this makes me and expert- lmao~ not! but here is what i do know.
    you will be beautiful
    he will only have eyes for you.
    and all that other stuff is nice, but it is how he smelled or if he cried, and did he drop the ring, or what he wrote in the letter the night before to you... that's what you will remember most 20 years from now.
    i love you friend!

  13. on our honeymoon, I had a dream that I was so glad our (summer) wedding was done, because I could finally start planning our WINTER wedding... I remember waking up and thinking, huh. no more wedding planning. what am I going to do?

    I promise: *being* married is so much better than *getting* married!

  14. What a wonderful post.....seriously. You put it all out there, spoke from the heart. I love how honest you are in telling us about your frustrations but somehow it doesn't come off as negative at all. You made me smile and sympathize, nod in understanding....I wish you lots of patience, I'm sure in the end your day will be wonderful and magical regardless of what type of wedding you choose to have and if your shoes are red or blue...see you at byw xo


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